The First Rule of Being a Coach’s Wife

It’s not about us.

Yesterday was our first anniversary. We were laying in bed, waking up and sharing some pillow talk when my husband’s cell phone rang. It was a nineteen-year-old baseball player who called my husband in tears because he didn’t know who else to call, who else might understand.

This was a gentle reminder that it’s not about us. It’s never about us. Not even at 8 a.m. on our first anniversary.

It’s about serving God. This is the life the Lord has called us to. Every moment that is spent pouring into the lives of these student-athletes is intended for the glory of God. As much as we might want to run from it at times, we are examples of our faith to some young men who have never had such models or have been turned away by some of the Christian models they have seen in the past. We must truly dedicate much of our lives to being as Christ-like as possible, to love without judgment and give to those who need it. In this area, we are so far from perfect.

It’s about serving others.  My husband’s life is dedicated to providing a service to others. This isn’t something that happens Monday through Friday from nine to five. It happens in the weight room at 5 a.m. and when returning from an away game at 11 p.m. It happens every weekend and most holidays, even if only in the form of a mass text message to send Christmas blessings. It happens when we invite them into our home for some team bonding. It happens any time a player needs something.

It’s about setting an example. Every day my husband is a mentor and role model for young men. He sets an example and encourages them. As the coach’s wife, I am a role model as well. Like their own mothers and sisters, I become an example of a woman and a wife. They look to me and how I treat my husband as they begin to understand and look for women they hope to spend their lives with. The example I set shapes their expectations for the women in their lives, for better or worse.

But it’s never about us.

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